Living life to the full - what does it mean

Recently we had a family tragedy.  My lovely daughter Em's, husband, Sean died suddenly and unexpectedly.  One of the things that comes to mind at times like this is that we need to grab life and live it to the full because it might stop at any minute.

But when I said that to someone, the reply was 'I will live life as fully as I can but it's not always easy'.  Which made me think about what does living a life fully mean?  Why might it not be easy to do that.  I reckon it's about living  each moment as it comes.  It means that whatever state my life is in at the moment that I live it as fully as I can.  I wondered if some people think it means having a life that is action packed, where you live the dream, sipping cocktails on a sun drenched balcony looking out at the sea, or pushing your body to the limit for example by jumping out of an aeroplane.  I don't think that's what it is, that can be a form of escaping living life to the full, distracting yourself from what is around you.

In the last years I have had time where my opportunities for doing things has been constrained.  My bloke that I'd lived with for close to 40 years was quite frail and anxious in the last few years of his life.  That meant we did not travel, except for him to visit his sons in Sydney and even that was quite limited.  He did not have a lot of interest in going out much, and our social contact was mainly around visiting people and having them to our place.  He wanted nothing more than to be in front of the open fire which he had built, with me around somewhere in the background, playing the occasional game of backgammon and eating his definition of good food.  He was 20 years older than me and I was not quite ready for a sedentary life.  But that was what it was.

In those years I think he did what he wanted.  He lived his life to the full even as he was dying.  He appreciated music and food, he loved seeing his family and friends and the garden and the fire going when it was cold.  He loved tai chi and, even as his strength was failing, he continued to practise, sometimes sitting down, sometimes just focussing on the breathing.

As did I during those times, it slowed me down, and that gave me time to notice the things that were around me.  To get excited about the yellow tailed black cockatoos when they descended on the park down the road, or to bathe in that clear light than can happen after a storm, or to love the smell of the wood piled up for the fire, the sense of satisfaction of lighting the fire in the morning and then watching the flames as they do their dance. I was lucky that I could continue to work, well into my 60s, in a job I loved and that gave me a huge amount of satisfaction, where I loved the challenge of dealing with the people I worked with, even those where I had different opinions about what could be done because then the challenge becomes how to work with that.

There are people who can find that satisfaction even when they are doing the most menial of jobs - who get pride out of cleaning a window for example.  I remember hearing about a country, maybe South Korea, where people understand that, no matter how small or difficult the job, what they do is part of a bigger picture and they generally take pride in whatever role they have.

There are many ways to engage in the world around us, via social media, I am a prolific twitterer and get moments of excitement when I achieve a tweet on QandA and particularly love it when friends notice, or when I write to the paper and, even better, when the letter gets published and other people get to share my opinion, or take aim at it, or engage in a discussion about it.

There is a whole life to be lived through reading, whether it's a good crime novel that gets you thinking or a literary marvel where you want to stop and reread a phrase or a sentence that captures a moment or a feeling perfectly for the way you see the world.

After the bloke's death, living life to the full took an a different meaning.  Through work I travelled and tried to build in doing something I enjoyed, whether it was going somewhere I could eat good food (in Canberra it was fish and chips by the lake that was my favourite) walking through a bush park, finding a river to swim in or just enjoying a new place.  Some of my best moments were when I used my car to do the travelling and took along the dog and we would camp by a river, swimming if it was hot, cooking over the one burner gas plate.

Now I spend time in my garden near the beach, planting, weeding, eating my own produce, marvelling at plants that survive and spread, mourning the ones that don't make it.  I have a bowl I brought from my old house which is concrete, filled with water, the bees love it, standing on the sides on a hot day and drinking while others buzz around waiting their turn.

Living life to the full must also mean facing one's emotions, life is not all beer and skittles as they say.  When there are moments of melancholy, give in to to it, allow them to wash over you, allow yourself a chance to be maudlin, to cry at sad songs or passages in a book that take you back to a time and place you wish you could relive.  When people or things make you angry, own it, do something about it, tell them gently, write letters, take a stand, don't just wish it away.  If you see injustice, rage against it.

It's possible to get loaded down by corrupt politicians, by Governments that act against the best interests of the people they are supposed to serve.  I am indebted to Sean, Emily's late husband for this quote by George Orwell from Some Thoughts on the Common Toad. He talks about the miracle of spring saying 'the point is that the pleasures of spring are available to everybody, and cost nothing. Even in the most sordid street the coming of spring will register itself by some sign or other, if it is only a brighter blue between the chimney pots or the vivid green of an elder sprouting on a blazed site.'

He finishes by saying 'So long as  you are not actually ill, hungry, frightened or immured in a prison or holiday camp, spring is still spring.  The atom bombs are piling up in the factories, the police are prowling through the cities, the lies are still streaming from the loudspeakers, but the earth is still going around the sun, and neither the dictators not the bureaucrats, deeply as they disapprove of the process, are able to prevent it.'

As the quote on the order of service for Sean's funeral service says

Magia Bene, ridi spesso, ama malto or Eat well, laugh often, love much... That's living life to the full

Travelling without Jac

I’m flying to Paris so have had to leave my travelling companion behind.  She’s safely ensconced at our sea change home with my ever so helpful brother Harold.  I have had pangs of conscience about leaving her.  When I wake during the night and she is curled up in a black furry ball on my bed and I reach out my hand to give her a scratch, I have thought about whether she has the capacity to miss me.  It is as much a guilt trip as leaving a child and, just like leaving a child, she puts on her ‘how could you leave me? face.  But, according to Harold, she’s had her walk and her play and seems happy enough.  And I have to get into the mindset of ‘it is what it is’ and focus on the moment.

So here I am, thousands of kilometres from home and everyone I love, heading off to visit my friend Harriet.  First stop Paris after a few hours stopover in Singapore.  So long since I’ve done a long haul flight, at least 9 years I think.  I’m 69, a year younger than my lovely old mum was when she embarked on her first overseas trip ever, on her own with only very loose plans of what she would do and ended up staying away for several months.  My dad had been overseas in the Middle East during the war and once he was safely back on Australian soil, wild horses would not have been able to force him to leave again.

I almost didn’t make it to France.  At the stopover in Singapore I had checked what time the next flight left, but, a cautionary tale, don’t assume 22.35 means 11.35.  I had read 22.35 several times and each time my brain computed it to be 11.35.  Which of course it wasn’t, which finally got through to my brain when I looked at it again at 10.20.  So a mad dash to the gate and at Singapore there are long distances between gates.  They had sent someone to look for me who grabbed my bags and raced ahead and we got to the door just as they were about to close it.  Almost heart attack material.

 

Harriet had given me instructions for how to get to the 6th arondissement where she is and I managed to navigate the metro system and walked out of St Placide to find her sitting having coffee waiting for me.  Then, despite the rain, we walked, to her place, to my hotel, across the Seine past the Louvre and to Rue St Honore.  On the way we stopped at Churches, first St Sulpice, domes with blue skies and stars, detailed paintings on poles leading up to the domes, then later St Roch, looked small and unassuming from outside but inside just stunning.  Half restored with detailed paintings on the vaulted ceilings, a nave dedicated to St Vincent de Paul, yay for Vinnies!

J

Lots of stops for coffee, lunch and wine, at one of which I tried escargots, tricky little buggers I found.  Gave up trying to get them out of their shell elegantly and went for the toothpick method, but found them quite yummy.  Rue St Honore is the shopping area for the wealthy, Dior,  Balenciaga, etc, we went there in search of a perfume for Harriet, a little perfumerie that makes only one perfume and only sellers it from one store.  It was wet and cold, and I was still wearing what I’d worn on the plane and looked a little like a drowned rat bag woman, so it was quite fun to go into some of the shops.

Finally checked into hotel, showered then we were off again with Harriets friends, first for drinks in their charming and airy apartment, then to a restaurant in the 12th Arondissement where there was a singer Harriet likes, performing.  It was a lovely little place, full of locals who sang along with great gusto to many of the songs.  The food was cold meat followed by hot meat, followed by cheese, so was meated out by the end of the night.  But it was a pretty memorable experience to be part of such a good night, with such a strong sense of community, good music, wine and company.

Camping with Jac on the way to Sydney

So the house was sold, we had the final inspection and I got to meet the new owners, a delightful young family. It was good to talk with them about the climbability of the fig tree, see their delight in the bloke's leadlight windows and imagine the backyard being used to it's full extent again.

Then I headed off to Sydney.  Found that my little Prius C was just a little tight with all the camping equipment so hired an SUV.  Thinking I might do a few camping trips over the next few years so might even invest in a bigger car so we can travel comfortably.

I was inspired to camp after the trip to the Kimberley I did last year with a group called Adventurous Women.   They promised tents that could be put up in 2 minutes and stretchers, so that made camping a desirable experience for me.  I bought a tent and a stretcher.  The tent I bought is called Dark Room from Anaconda and it is a bit like an inverted umbrella.  So easy to put up and take down and you can stand up in it.

First stop was Yackandandah Camping Ground, I didn't want too much of a wilderness experience for my first try and the main point of the trip was to visit Em in Sydney and friends in Canberra.  The camping ground was a peaceful little oasis right next to town.  Tent up, stretcher in place, table and chair out and wine opened.

I was the only camper, everyone else was in caravans or camper vans.  But my spot was right next to a creek that had the sweetest little swimming hole.

Rules generally in camping grounds are dogs on lead at all times, which Jac was not so excited about.  I let her off at the tent, but had her on the lead when we walked around. She just stays around, never runs away, did enjoy saying hello to a few other dogs.  5 minute walk to town and dinner at the pub, it was bloody hot, 41C, the saving grace was the water mister around the outside tables at the pub.  

Took Jac's bed so she didn't try to sleep on the stretcher, thought that might just be a little too crowded, and it all worked fine.  Had my little canister burner to make coffee in the morning and we headed off for another swim and the trip to Canberra where we stayed with Ol and family.  Jac remembered their place, went straight into the bedroom and lay down.  It was still around 40 so not a lot of movement though I did take her for a short walk around the track near their place.

Next day was just a bit cooler so headed straight to Sydney where it was a bearable 30 degrees.  The dogs are all used to each other now so it was fairly peaceful.  Took them for a swim at Tamarama beach then after a few nights headed back to Canberra where I stayed with Val this time in her newly bought house.  Jac and her little Charlie got on okay, mostly ignoring each other and circling around a very meaty bone.

On the way home stopped at the Beechworth Camping Ground.  Bit more out of town which was good.  Again next to a little creek.

Interesting being a woman travelling solo, albeit with dog.  Seems to attract the blokes who want to help.  Yackandandah I got the bloke who thought he would explain how much better a caravan, particularly one with a shower and a toilet, is than a tent.  Now I hate the idea of sleeping in the sae room as a toilet that relies on chemicals and having to empty the sludge.  I know its all remote, I know the chemicals don't smell all that much, but somehow the whole idea seems distasteful.  But no I was there to be convinced.  When he offered to show me his shower and toilet I though tit was time for a swim.  Then in Beechworth as I was laying my tent out, a bloke sauntered over and asked if I needed a hand.  By that time the tent was almost up anyway so I politely declined.  Well-meaning I suppose, but wonder if he would have done the same and I been another bloke?  Decided to cook in the camp kitchen and then I had a bloke actually step in front of me as I went to the barbecue saying that it was okay he would light it for me.  As it turned out he had problems lighting it so I ended up showing him how to do it.

I feel like having a t short made saying 'I am competent' or 'I can ask for help if I need it'.  despite all that I do love the camping.  Made easier by the easy to erect tent and the stretcher.  I sleep with all the 'windows' unzipped and open so when I wake up I see the bush around me.  Amazingly I sleep incredibly well in the tent.  Jac I think, is not quite so enamoured of the whole camping idea.  She is a bit too used her city comforts.  I gave her a bone to chew on and she left it.  When she came back it was covered in ants and she was so horrified she had to go and hide in the tent under the stretcher.

In between our camping we stayed in the far from camping experience at Ems.  I love Paddington, the windy streets, the beautiful old houses, the random street gardens., the street art

And so another trip under the belt.  Who knows where next but for the moment back to my now home on the Mornington Peninsula.

Creating a new space

I am in the process of selling the house that I lived in with the bloke for 38 years.  I am in the very fortunate position of having another house (with a mortgage) down on the Mornington Peninsula.  During his illness I hardly got down here, although his last request for an outing was to come here and sit on the back deck in the sun looking out over the Ti Tree.  Over the last twelve months i have been unable to spend much time down here because of all the travel I was doing.

But now I can see the potential of actually living down here.  I love the beach, whatever the weather.  I love that every time I see it, it is different.  Still and calm one day, stormy and rolling waves the next.  Blue skies then stormy clouds, sun glistening on the water on a hot day or the yellow of a sunset being reflected in the water and on the sand.  We have a dog beach near here, where dogs can be walked off leash.  Some days when the tide is out it has a wide sandy beach, other times when the tide is in and it is a bit stormy there is hardly any beach to walk on.

And then there is the garden.  Wild and overgrown from over a year of neglect.  Had to have some of the ti trees cut down because they were falling slowly.  I love the way ti trees fall, they tend not to have the drama of the crashing branches of gum trees, rather they start to lean, as if the challenge of remaining upright is just too much.  They lean into each other and form a crown of supporting braces all holding each other up.

Before some of that crown was removed there was not much light in the backyard so the grass did not grow.  Now it grows wildly, as if all that was hidden beneath the ground is suddenly celebrating freedom and dancing in the newly found sunlight.  I can appreciate the beautiful green and the waving blades of the grass, but there are snakes in that yard which the long grass can hide and I do want to walk through the yard on a cold morning without getting wet from the dew that settles on the grass leaves.

The beginning of the garden taming

The plan is a slightly wild garden, a small patch of green, a fire pit, an apple tree, a lemon tree and space for vegetables in amongst native plants and the occasional import like lavender.  I leave behind in Kew years of planting, a large paperbark which I have loved and has given us much pleasure, a fig tree that has largely fed the bats in the last few years but provided us with a beautiful shaded spot in the back part of the garden, a cumquat my dad planted, an apple and a plum tree.

My transition to the sea change has been slightly effected by two things.  The first is the process of selling.  It is a painful process, getting it ready, decluttering, a job done with the help of my two daughters who were excellent in saying no, you don't need this, no that looks messy there, so we finally have an uncluttered house that has new paint and new carpet in a few rooms.  And now the challenge is keeping it clean, so that it looks sparkling for the Open for Inspections which happen twice a week.  The second issue is I am standing as a candidate for Labor again, this time in the state elections, as the candidate for Kew a fairly safe Liberal seat.  However both of those activities require that I am in Melbourne a fair amount of time.

Traditional Christmas toasting of marshmallows in the back yard

Footnote,
the above was written in late October.  3 months later I have sold the house in Kew, Labor won the election in a landslide, I got a 6% swing against my opponent Tim Smith and I am now in the process of settling in to my sea change.  We did celebrate Christmas with the family in the sea shack, I did Frocktober to raise money for Ovarian Cancer Research and did an Instagram series of democracy dogs who came to the Early Polling Centre and waited patiently while their owners participated in the democratic process.

My favourite democracy dog, Arthur, one of Jag's mates waiting patiently

One more period of a few days to get everything moved out of the other house, a drive up to Sydney (with Jac of course) and then I'm back to my little cottage in a very urban part of the Mornington Peninsula. Just a 20 minute walk from the bay beach, 5 minute drive to what I think is the best ocean beach around with natural rock pools to swim in when the tide is out, and short drive to wineries and the beautiful hinterland.

Finding peace

A dog creates, transcribes, a new landscape for you.   Rick Bass, Colter: The True Story of the Best Dog I Ever Had

Jac does make travel different to travelling alone.  It means I am on the lookout for interesting places to walk and explore, where she can sniff and get excited about all the smells.  Where she can run ahead of me, nose to the ground with that happy tail waving in the air.  And that was the case even though this time I did the trip to Canberra in one day.  It was surprisingly easy.  Canberra accommodation was in a spacious townhouse: Cosy Duplex in Dickson. Great location opposite the Dickson shops, with a Woollies and so many restaurants, mainly Asian, so had a good dumpling dinner one night.  Accommodation was okay, basic facilities, good yard for Jac and comfortable bed.  

Jac behaved well as always, came into work with me which she loves, although on the Friday was a bit put out because we were joined by a retriever pup belonging to one of the team up there, so she was not the centre of attention.  From the unit, there was a good place to walk her along the canal, through an avenue of trees to a huge oval and a small lake area, all off leash.  It's getting cold and I was worried about how she would cope with the freezing temperatures in Canberra so did something I never thought I would do and bought her a coat.  

She actually seems to like it, and it made me feel better taking her out in the freezing morning to get rid of some of her energy before we went to work.

With the end of daylight saving, the sun is starting to set quite early so by the time we got back from work and went for a walk it was starting to get dark, that gave us the opportunity to enjoy the fading light and sunsets.  

Drove up to Sydney to see Em and go with her to hear Julia Gillard interviewed by Laura Tingle as part of the Sydney Writers Festival.  Julia was funny, thoughtful and so much more relaxed than when she was Prime Minister - wonder why?  Before that went with Em to Barangaroo for a craft market, and I loved Barangaroo, such a beautiful spot along the water with old buildings built against exposed rock walls.   I love the way we have discovered our waterways and make features of them.

 


















Had a happy experience in Sydney, had been walking Jac while Em and Sean were out and walking back near their house there is an Italian restaurant called Lucio's.  One of those good Italian places, beautiful fresh food and the owner and staff all speaking Italian.  Anyway they had a table outside and Lucio was out the front.  I asked if I could sit at the table and said I just fancied a salad and a glass of wine.  So had one of those classic Italian salads, rocket, radicchio, mozzarella, oil, olives and a glass of white wine.  Was so lovely, sitting in the sun, chatting to passers by and when I went in to pay he would not take my money.   There is good in the world.  

On the way back fancied a bit of nostalgia so stayed in Rutherglen, lovely little dog friendly cottage: Must Love Dogs.  Lovely courtyard, no kitchen, but comfortable bed, self contained with a small living room and absolutely one of the best baths I have had and a delightfully quirky shower.

Stopped at Morris winery then All Saints and stocked up on Muscat and Tokay which is apparently another name we may not be able to continue to use.  

Called in at home for a quick stop then off to Geelong for a 3 day workshop.  Booked what looked like a very quirky Prayag, unique experience in Geelong.  It's in an old paper mill, so along the river and has beautiful old buildings of stone and brick.  One of them is now a winery Provenance wines and there is also a cafe/gallery/music venue.  And so many walks - along fairy rock paths along the river to a big cleared area with lots of dog walkers and along the Moorabool River.  It was the most interesting Air BnB I have stayed at.  The unit itself had stunning rock walls, a coonara wood heater, and another little courtyard. It had an aura of peace, calm and creativity about it.

One of the river walks, the dam construction was for the Paper Mill

Winery

The rock walk

I had to leave Jac in the unit as I did not feel comfortable taking her into the workshop, but she managed, we walked for an hour each morning and again in the evening, on the last day I did ask if I could bring her in as we were checking out - and she was her usual well behaved self, just sitting by people and waiting for them to pat her.  The workshop itself was interesting, on what could have been a most boring topic of audits, but the trainer did a brilliant job at keeping us all on our toes, with lots of activities.  Did watch the budget coverage and Shorten's speech in reply which I thought was spot on.  Just wish they would agree to increase New Start and I would be happy.

Caught the ferry over to Sorrento and spent the night at Rye.  Had been a bit worried because the weather was stormy but it was fine, and Jac coped with the noises and swaying of the ferry okay.  Back home because my new lounge furniture was being delivered...   

This trip, even though I revisited an old haunt and went to All Saints and Morris wineries, I felt peace.  We went there first in the days when we would taste every wine from the sparkling to the ports and would be quite pissed after just a couple of wineries.  We'd lay on the banks of the Murray and sleep and we danced naked in the Chiltern Forest where we camped. That was before I went tasting with Val who showed me how to just focus on one wine like a shiraz and only taste that. 

I feel the circle is turning and I can see the past and appreciate it while I experience the present and be in this moment and find the joy in that.  The space away from Oswin St has allowed me to put things in perspective and avoid being so hurt by his family.  I feel incredibly fortunate that I have good friends who stand by me and allow me to vent about  every now and then, which also helps get it into perspective, but more on that next blog.

Travelling with Jac and Annie

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo—what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”  Oprah Winfrey

Oh dear what is happening when I start a blog with a quote from Oprah Winfrey?.  But this one seemed appropriate for this blog.  On my return from Canberra Jac and I were joined by a friend while going home from Canberra.  Annie and I have been friends since we worked together in a women's refuge back in the 80s.   Inspired by my road trips, Annie flew up so we could have a road trip home.  We've been friends for years but rarely holiday together.  We are very different, which is a good thing, we often argue but are united by feminism, by a  shared history starting with working together in a women's refuge, a love of grandchildren and a love of good food and wine, though Prosecco is our favourite tipple at the moment.  I've also done the same thing and flown over to Perth once so I could drive home across the Nullabor with her and Norm, we both share a love of road trips.  And she is a person who would take the bus with me when the limo breaks down - we handle adversity well and have fun with it.

After picking her up from the airport and a stop for fish and chips so I could show off my local Canberra knowledge by showing her Snapper on the shores of Lake Burley Griffin, we headed off to a farmstead at Coolac, just north of Cootamundra on the Olympic Way.  Beautiful spot, Wallendbeen Park Farm.  It's an organic farm with golden pigs, chooks bokboking around and the funniest little creatures - Guinea Fowl.  They like to stay together. They wander around as a group and every now and then one gets too caught up in scratching around, then they all call and the one left behind sticks its head up and comes running to join the fold.

Sat out on the decking in the dusk, ate our gourmet snacks, drank Prosecco and just enjoyed the peace and quiet, disturbed only by the occasional bok bok and the pigs grunting. 

I had booked for the Dartmouth Motor Inn, we travelled on the Olympic Way, going though Wagga Wagga and a swim in the Murrumbidgee at the Wagga Beach, again sand and deep water, although everyone said the river was low.  Caught up with a friend of my brothers, Beryl who has lived in that area for years who talked about how welcoming the community was of both refugees and international students.  When you travel through just a little part of the country you appreciate how much space there is and how much refugee communities could bring to small country towns if they were supported to go there. 

To continue the swimming theme had to stop at Albury to have a swim in the Murray, just at the spot where Annie and Norm had lived in a tent in their early years together.

Have to say that while the area around Dartmouth is absolutely beautiful, a dam that has more water than Lake Hume, forests and a beautiful river, the Motor Inn had seen better days and the food at the hotel was pretty tired and sad.  But did have a nice beer sitting out on the verandah at the motel and finished the night off with a Prosecco.  Next morning after Annie tried to set the place alight with the toaster which caught fire, we decided that the accommodation was not for us so thought we would just head home.  

However as John Steinbeck said

A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us. 

On the way down the mountain we stopped at the Witches Garden (how could one not stop at a place with a name like that), which has accommodation and acres of green and lush gardens.  They told us it was market day in Mitta Mitta so of course we had to go there and found a little green piece of paradise.  The market was out the front of the pub which backed on to the Snowy Creek.  The pub was an old one that has been so well done up with huge old logs, soaring roof and a comfortable and rustic feel to it, with green lawns going down to the creek.  Found out later that my Mum had lost her bottom dentures in that river behind the pub about 60 years before, would have dived in and searched for them if I had known.  They dam the river up in summer to make a deep swimming hole behind the pub.  We stopped for a Beechworth Ale and fantasised about staying for a night but thought we'd have no chance of finding dog friendly accommodation last minute during Easter. I googled accommodation and found Wonjeena.  3 ks out of town on Scrubby Creek Road, a piece of 1960s history, with a resident historian who is the 3rd generation to live on the land there and full of stories about the place.  And they had a spot.  They had closed for bookings over Easter because Nevis, the historian was doing his bees, but he had finished the the day before so they had a self contained unit available.  Two delightfully friendly dogs for Jac to be disdainful of and a huge bull in the next door paddock, which luckily Jac decided to stay away from.  Decor straight from the 50s.

Time for a dip in the freezing cold waters of the Mitta River.  After a while the body acclimatised and  we could lie on the rocks with the water burbling around us - so relaxing.  Mind you we must have looked a sight, two old bags and a dog, both with shaky balance picking our way through the current and over the rocks, but it was worth it.  There were lots of fishing spots and peaceful and private little hidden holes in the bush to camp by the river with fireplaces set up.  If only I could still get up and down with ease I would seriously consider a tent.

After a good meal at the pub, with a very nice wine - unfortunately can't remember the name except it had Duck in it somewhere (and no, it was not Blue Duck for those that remember the 60s), we went back to our little bit of 50s paradise, sat under the stars again with a Prosecco before bed.  

We had a meandering trip home, stopping for Jac to have a walk in Benalla and a return visit to Morrisons winery near Glenrowan.  Their Tempranillo is perfect and unlike many wineries they charge reasonable prices.  As the winemaker explained he does not like to pay more than $20.00 for a good bottle so why should he expect anyone else to.

View from our lodging  at Mitta Mitta

I love the meandering, it's a different kind of travel than just going from one place to another purposefully. Taking the time to head off if something looks interesting or exploring a place that you've just driven past before, somehow opens the soul a bit to new experiences. While doing it on my own is fun,  it was also good for to travel with a friend, we always tend to have fun and lots of laughs (often at our own expense).  Our eating and drinking habits are very similar so that all works out quite well.  The experience is different because you share it and can enjoy the moments together.

Staying put with Jac

As noted in the last blog, Jac and me are in Canberra for an extended stay.  It's work related but we have an air b n b that is more or less dog friendly.  If the dog was a wanderer it would not work, but for me and Jack it's fine.

Jac doesn't wander, she likes to stay close to me and the car, so I don't need an enclosed yard.  I can just open the door here and she wanders over to the garden, has a pee or whatever and wanders back in.  Generally she finds a cosy spot under my feet or on the bed.  She likes to indulge herself.  Although, unlike me, food does not have to part of her indulgence.  She is the fussiest eater in the world.  So I cook chicken for her, sometimes with a bit of pasta, sometimes a bit of carrot or kale.  Although if I don't cut the carrot up into teeny tiny pieces she will take it out and leave it by her dish.  I like to think of her as a bit of a gourmet traveller.  But sometimes despite my dedicated cooking she still turns her nose up, walks away leaving the lumps of chicken lying forlornly in their dish.

Canberra is a much maligned place, and yes, in the past I have been a part of the maligner bunch.  But spending time here does mean it grows on you.  The place we are staying in is nothing short of weird.  the home of embassies, so huge houses with long long driveways, guard boxes, flags everywhere and Federal police permanently stationed at each end of the street.  Could be because we are across the road from the Iraq embassy, the Arab Emirates, Turkish and the Kuwait Embassy.  Sensitive I imagine.  Disconcerting though.  

Lots of walking, managed 5 kilometres the other day in between work and eating.  I got myself one of those doovylackers that counts steps and kilometres.  It's been interesting to see that I get caught up in wanting to achieve the target I have set, so it does encourage me to walk more.


Jac behaves very differently walking through the bush, constantly on alert, looking around her, testing every bush and stopping at every strange noise.  Going into her pointer pose when she spies kangaroos off in the distance.  There is a nature reserve across the road where we walk most days.  And it is the home of kangaroos, counted 24 once on one of our morning walks.  They are funny creatures, stopping to watch with their ears cocked when we walk past, hopping slowly away if we get too close.  Also the home of snakes - two people have told me about their dogs discovering snakes in their backyard recently, one where her two dogs played tug of war with the snake and tore it in half, then the head half reared up ready to attack.  freaky freaky..... So I worry about her going off too much into the bush and I am hyper vigilant about snakes with her around but, touch wood, no threat of them yet.


Speaking of eating - weren't you?  Snapper in Yarralumla, fish and chips and wine or beer by the shores of the lake.  Not just dog friendly but dog welcoming.  As are most places here, very dog friendly city, all the ovals are off leash areas and very few signs around saying no dogs.  

What adds to the enjoyment of Canberra is having friends here, Ol who used to work with and her delightful family, who are always so welcoming and who look after Jac on the days when I can't take her to work with me.  Although when I drop her off it feels a bit like taking a child to childcare, I get a bit peeved when she wanders in happily and doesn't sulk when I leave.  We went together to a perfect river swimming spot less than 30 minutes away Uriana - sandy beaches, trees, green grass, shallow water and then deep swimming hole.  Heaven.  Dogs everywhere, noses up bums, Jack gets a bit touchy if that goes on too long and will give a 'excuse me did I give you permission to stick your nose there' snap if they spend too long on the sniff.  Pete drove us up to the Mt Stromlo Observatory, great views and would love to do one of the night star spotting tours, next time ...

I was lucky enough to be here for the Hot air Ballon festival and doubly lucky that the morning I decided to get up at dawn so I could watch them launch was a good weather day.  They are tetchy things these hot air balloons and won't take off if it's too windy, raining or the sky doesn't look right.  But I picked the right day.  There were around 30 balloons and it was quite magical, blowing them up with the hot air and watching them silently taking off with just that occasional whoosh whoosh as the flame goes up.

My favourite balloon

And the 'tree library' as Ol's daughter described the Arboretum.  Whenever I see old trees, particularly slow growing ones I think what foresight the people had who planted them, often knowing they would never live to enjoy the full splendour, to rest in the shade of branches that spread out or marvel at the height and width.  The Arboretum was established after the last Canberra fires and aims to have trees from all over the world.  It was windy and blustery the day we went up there but we sheltered in a grove of old cedars. I think it's the Swedish who talk about the health benefits of forest bathing and it is so true.  Time spent wandering through tall trees or even the rugged bush that you find in a lot of the nature reserves here is good for the soul.

The other good part about Canberra, for me anyway,  is Parliament.  As a good Labor supporter and, of course, a feminist, I was delighted when my time here coincided with an Emily's List function with Tanya Plibersek.  So Ol and I went along, I had to join a huge long queue to get through security, then we had to wait to be picked up to be taken to the Labor Senate Caucus room.  Seemed appropriate it was the same day that Christine Keneally made her first speech.  Ged Kearney put in an appearance and I felt incredibly proud to be part of a party that has now almost 50% representation of women in the lower house and 67% in the Senate.  And what good women - Ann Ali, Tanya of course, now Ged, Penny Wong, Linda Burney, the list goes on and on. 

Joined in the refugee rally as well.  Was quite impressed with how it was organised, with the different groups gathering together, then marching individually to the square and being announced and applauded as they arrived.  Not like the rabble in Melbourne.  No Grandmothers Against the Detention of Refugee Children so we joined the Labor Left but then saw my favourite banner - The Vintage Reds which would have been much more fitting.

Em and Sean were in Canberra as well fleetingly so had a catch up with them and Joe which was good.  So it was a pleasant way to spend a few weeks and I can understand the appeal of Canberra.  But a long way from home and the grandkids.  

Canberra, lake swimming and casual eating

Next day headed to Canberra for work, but was very tired.  Had booked in again at The Annexe.  Dealing with the funeral did bring back a lot of stuff for me, so it was good to arrive somewhere quiet, familiar and safe, allowing time to think and integrate my feelings so I could go to work happily.   

Canberra was sooo hot, close to 40 each day.  But The Annexe is a lovely green oasis that is shaded and cool.  Nothing like a green lawn and large shady trees to help you cope with the heat.  It is opposite a chain of ovals and parklands so I walked Jac in the morning before work while it was still cool, through ovals and shaded walking paths.   She got to run with a few dogs so she was happy and no rabbits for her to kill so I was happy.

Part of our early morning walks

We were close to the Manuka shops so tried out a few different cafes for dinner and one night went to the very strange Kingston Portside area.  Strange because one doesn't expect to sit by the water to eat in Canberra with boats going by.  Strange also because it is surrounded by blocks and blocks of new apartments.  Jac wasn't impressed, didn't like walking along the water at all, but we did sit and have dinner.   One evening we drove up to Red Hill lookout which has a perfect place to watch the sunset, looking out over the Great Dividing range.  We saw a few kangaroos (maybe wallabies) which seemed to mesmerise Jac, but luckily she made no attempt to chase them.

View from Red Hill Lookout

Friday I had some disturbing news which shook me a bit, about people delving into mine and Erwin's background, for what purpose I don't know, but it made me feel somewhat vulnerable.  And it was hot.  After debriefing with my ever present friend Annie, who deals with my angst constantly and along with some of my other friends, helps me put things in perspective,  I was still quite shaken.  Thank goodness for good friends and my two delightful daughters and their families who help keep me sane.  Wonder what people do who don't have that support when they are dealing  with behaviour that seems quite crazy and inexplicable.  While, on the one hand I can se it as completely bizarre and weird, on the other hand, because it is so personal and intrusive,  I can see how it would cause you to unravel .  However I plan to stay quite ravelled, with a little help from my friends.

I had planned to go into work but decided I needed some space so I could do the phone meetings I had while sitting by the lake. Went to a very dog friendly spot on Lake Burley Griffin, set up my folding chair under the shade of a weeping willow tree and sat and worked looking out on the lake.  I even braved a swim in the Lake, there is a particular spot in Yarralumla set up for swimming with diving/jumping platforms.  It was a perfect day and I felt refreshed and energised.

View from my office for the day

On the weekend we moved in with a friend Ol, who I had worked with for a number of years and who has moved to Canberra.  She is a gentle but strong soul with an equally gentle husband and a beautiful garden, where I always feel so comfortable.  Luckily Jac gets on well with her delightful little dog, Clancy, which means they simply walk around each other and largely ignore each other.  Clancy is the funniest little dog who talks when he wants to be fed.  Canberra for me previously has been a bit of a rushed trip where I have occasionally managed to get to the gallery or Parliament House.  It was lovely to explore the place with Ol, going to the Portrait Gallery - stunning, and the Library which had a most amazing and moving photo exhibition by Peter Dombrovski who took the iconic photo that helped motivate people to save the Franklin River.  It reminded me how important  it is for your health to immerse yourself in nature, and I realised that, to some extent, that's what I have been doing.

Jac in Lake Burley Griffin

Life felt a little normal when I met up with one of Erwin's grandchildren and went for a walk with her and her husband around the lake.  I had a relationship with all of Erwin's children over 40 years, visiting them and having them stay at our house, it's been strange to lose contact with them since Erwin died.  I felt they were part of our lives over such a long time and meeting up with the granddaughter helped me continue that connection.  

While I enjoy travelling alone, spending time with Ol was lovely and exploring places to walk and eat.  The highlight for me was the Southern Cross Yacht Club on the lake at Yarralumla where one can buy fish and chips and wine and sit to eat by the lake.  Perfect place for dogs, children and older women like us.  It was dusk and there were bats flying overhead, and resting in the trees above us, which created some alert about bats urinating on our food.  While I was with the granddaughter we did have a magpie who dropped a pooh in her water....  Sure that's a sign of good fortune.  Have to admit this time I loved Canberra, as well as swimming in the lake and exploring with Ol, finding the walking tracks behind Ol's house was another blessing.  Can walk up onto a ridge with a view of the mountains and walk for kilometres through bush.  I walked 4 ks one day without even realising it.

So ever onward and making myself look forward to what life can offer in the future and try to remove myself from the craziness of others.  Next blog is about our return trip via Falls Creek where we spent many years skiing in winter and walking the High Plains in summer.